"My goal for my life is to fall in love with someone who loves me in return." I wrote that in my diary at the beginning of last year. Then I fell completely in love.
It is what everyone has always been told they want to do. "You want to fall in love. Then you will be happy"
I never regret meeting him but I don't know if I would tell others that being in love is what you need to be happy. The truth is love is the greatest pain you could ever experience. Once you let yourself fall you pine to feel that person, hear them speak, touch their skin, constantly. The time you have with them is absolute nirvana but it can never last long enough. And so the pain sets in again. The fear and emptiness. Your whole being is completely dependent on the existence of another person.
At the end of last year he went away. Every day I didn't hear from him made my heart sink. I don't think I have ever felt so lost and confused in my life. I had only known him for 3 months then. I hate to imagine how it would feel to lose him now. There's the fear again.
Don't go away.
you are gorgous.
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